Is Your Pet Lazy or Overweight?

Reported by Mr. Casanova himself, El Bumpy

Heres a few of the signs to watch for.

1. Your pet's door has been equiped with a garage door opener or you need to keep them in the garage because they don't fit in the house anymore.

2. Your visitors to your home mistakenly sit on your pet thinking its a fluffy bean bag chair.

3. The neighbors rottweiler now fits through your cats door without touching the sides.

4. Their food dish has been replaced with a bath tub.

5. Luxurious, sleekness and agility has been replaced by fun roly poly movements.

PS. Never mistake chubbiness wiff Hugeness! (look below)

Photo Courtosy of swapmeetdave

6. Waits for the third bowl of gourmet food to get picky.

ABOUT ME, Mr C. Bumpy

See I am Bumpy, casanova debonaire. I am a male, leave no doubt. Yes they took me to the man who took my family jewels so to say but I shall never admit defeat, ...... I may have a secret 3rd, who knows, and since today is the day of the spay, I am not talking..

......nor shall they let me live in the house again...

But!, it is ok, I have my own. I am in a enclosed area (as long as I deem it nessesary to stay in it,) and I have the destinct opportunity to bring home all of my friends to share in my feline wealth.... Hey my house is big enough.

In the last 2 years now non-scratched and I am muscular now, Some nice things happen as we get older eh?

Anyways , here is my garden and my house, pretty nice huh?

Misc Cat Faq's by Gordita

Maintaining you and your Pets Relationship

1. There is no snooze button on any pet wanting their food.
This can be particularly dangerous if you have a feline that likes do do cat-u-puncture on your body.
2. Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never tried to wash their pet.

FAQ's

Feline: Feline pets and such as us adorable house cats ect., know they are the master at all times. They never let you forget it and it is not uncommon for them to go days without speaking to you if you forget it.

Canine : As long as you feed and water Canines, such as (ugh) dogs ect. and give them lots of attention along with a occasional peice of furnature to chew on, you can be the master.They will let you. Disposable or edible furnature is also highly recomended.


Snake and lizard pets: These pets camileons, kamono dragons ect. tend to be a bit aggressive and great fighters, on the downside they also tend to chew up fingers,and eat your food or you. When having one of these for a pet, make sure your home insurance is paid up in full to the max!

Glamorous Pets: These pets such as chihuahuas, Poodles, Garfield ect . They don't care who the master is as long as they get attention and a full artillary of grooming supplies and all the food they can eat.

Other pets: There are many things in history about pets that are not written here such as amphibian pets, Ocean dweller pets ect. and I will update the report here as soon as I find some to interview..

Pocket's Guide To Fitness

Personal Note:
This guide was pen and paper written 5 years ago for a pet page on an game called Neopets.
It was funny because I was Thinking, "I wonder if the search engine picks up the page so I looked and found 1 line of text, yes it had picked up my original story. The problem was it wasn't on my page someone had changed it a bit and edited ect,not just one but several, but no doubt same story, No biggy I really dont care, but thought instead of stating this is My own original hand written story, due to the curcumstances, I'll let it remain a "Unknown Author" Thanks, Pockets mom
(Original story Author Unknown)

Pocket's Guide to Feline Fitness
The Truth about Exercize!

Work it! Work it!!

Welcome and this is my guide to Exercising.

My name is Nurse Pocket.

~Your Felines fitness program, really can be fun.



~It is important to start any fitness program only..when you feel like it.

~Don't let a few extra pounds intimidate you into becoming more active.

~The most important aspect of fitness is what time to start the program. The best time is at about 3 a.m. The house is quiet except for the snoring of your owner coming from the nearby bed. Now you know there are no distractions.

~The warm-up is critical. Most pets especially Felines are experts at stretching, so this won't be a problem. Start with a few super fast wind sprints, full speed, toenails clicking across the floors, counters, tables and maybe the silky blouse on the chair.

~A few low but loud growls and hisses will help you feel charged up as you prepare to get started.

~Now it is time to add some eye-paw coordination work. Find a Marble or ball from the ball game you have somewhere. (the big glass, metal or electric ones work best) and roll that down the floor as the sprints continue. See how many times you can ricochet it off the wall and cupboards before it disappears under the fridge.

~Finally, work on that upper-body strength. Climbing and jumping are great exercise. Use draperies, Rope style plant hangers or clothing on hangers. Weave in and out of the decorative vases and knick nacks on the top of the shelfs. Backs of chairs work well, too.

~Ok, you have the basics of exercising down. The jumps, roll's, swinging, limbering up those limbs and reaching for everything supposedly non reachable.

~Now put it all together. The grand Finale! Stretch real good, digging your paws or claws in tight!A speedy sprint to the end of the hall! A race around the living room! Leap to the back of the hammock style chair! Let the rebound launch you to the top of the swinging Planter! Make it swing high, high, high! Feel those muscles work. Just as the hook pulls loose from the ceiling, dash to your bedroom and dive under the covers. Establish your alibi just in time to hear the crash of the plant to the floor below.

~Now to wait. Your owner will come flying out of the bed and turn on the lights. Then you can slowly work your way out as they watch you stretching and yawning as if woke up from a wonderful dream and totally oblivious to any problems.

~Of course since the lights are now on..you can politely ask for food, since after all your owner is awake and you are ravonous after the extensive workout you just had.

About me.. Miss Pocket

This was me... after my hooman got me not sick, that is.

My life at the start was far from easy. For some reason flames and things attracted me and I couldn't sleep and I couldn't find my mums milk or anything.

The hooman in the bed by our home heard me crying and put her hand inside the dark carrier. It was warm and smelled good, I didn't have much energy but I climbed in it and layed my head down. I thought I was going to that big rainbow in the sky. But at least I would be warm.

The hooman looked at me and started crying. Not my intention but she took and made me some yogurt and warm milk substitute with some molasses in it.

It was warm on my tummy and I ate till I fell asleep. This hoomans name is Teresa, I have found I am lucky I think. She used to help at the local vets office in Oregon and knew how to clean me and feed me.

I have 3 siblings, Feliz and Bumper, my brothers. Gordita is my sister and Mesue, a round feline Bumpy brought home. (yes, he is fixed but shhhh... he doesn't know that.) Bumpy is another story but to tell you a bit so you understand, Bumpy lives outside the House. He likes to mark things and sing to the moon and other cats.. He has much testosterone's I think or when they neutered him they forgot to take something...

As for me, my hooman found out I have hypoglycemia and her yogurt and corn syrups and warm milk were purr-fect for the situation.

I grew out of it and now my hooman who I owz is named Aldo.

I lived in Teresa's pocket for the 1st 6 months of my life but they say 'I am daddies little girl." He is the mostest awsomest thing since well.... since... friskies fishes.

I am on his shoulders or stealing Aldos socks most of the day.

I also help Aldo take care of his mom Tuly, she is in bed most of the time and Aldo needed me to keep a eye on her for him sometimes so if she sneezes or coughs or cries or makes noise I yell loudly and then run to go get Aldo.

I also do NOT eat meat. I really do not think Friskies has meat, it doesn't taste like it and I bury anything that is not healthy for you to eat.

Steak, Chicken, tuna and all those things they say I am suppose to eat, Yuck!

But, don't let my Friskies run out or I will let you know I am not happy.... at all.. *claws out and daggers sharp??*

I am 5 years old now. Dad says I am elegante.

This is the now photo.

and this is my family.

My sister Gordita,

She isn't fat now but she was ermmm round ... when she was little.

This is Feliz, he is my male alt personality.

He is Teresa's guardian. She is sick now, and he sits with her most of the time, watches her what ever she is doing to make sure she is ok.

Then there is my adopted sister, Mesue. We think she has a thyroid issue because she dosn't eat much but she is the butterball of the house.

Then there is brother Bumpy. He has his own house outside. I love outside but mom says that if we are outside we don't live as healthy or as long.

Bumpy doesn't care though, he is miserable inside and picks on everyone.

Well, it was nice to meet you all, stop by, post and say Hiya! *nose touch*